The Entirely Biased Guide to Writing Good Stories
by dancingonmytoes13
Summary: Welcome to my highly opinionated and possibly rude guide to a successful Maximum Ride FanFiction. Ready your flamethrowers, because there is some bacon to grill.
1. Grammar Freak, Activate

Welcome to my highly opinionated and possibly rude guide to a successful Maximum Ride FanFiction.

This is not original.

This is not magical.

This is not a tomato.

These are just my thoughts after having written some of my own fanfics and having read _a ton_ of them by other authors.

To some authors' credit, a handful of these stories are pure gold, and they are doing a fantastic job – not _perfect_, note, but the overall effect is highly amazing.

For a large portion of you writers out there, however…there are some issues we need to talk about.

I'll start with my _favorite_ (note sarcasm) problem.

**Grammar & Punctuation.**

Note I did not put "Spelling", though that can be an occasional issue. However, with spell-check and its special red squiggly lines, a lot of people can catch those. Also, even the better writers slip up a lot (I'm guilty of the spelling problem, too) because we'll type a word that isn't the _right_ word, but it is _a_ word, so spell-check doesn't catch it; then, since a lot of us don't proofread our own stuff once we finish (because face it, after spending hours typing a chapter, you just want to post it and let your mind decay for a bit), we have a public chapter with spelling mistakes.

Grammar, however, is another matter…because it is hard to accidentally slip up on subject-verb agreement.

For example:

"He are going to the mall tomorrow."

_**BZZZZZ**_**!**

**NO.**

Wrong. Fix that now. "_He is_". "_They are". "We are". "I am"._

It's basic, and this is not the prominent issue with grammar. I'm sure a bunch of you are shaking your heads, sure you don't do that. _But some of you do._ And it is irritating to read.

Another one, which is more common but not as widely known, is what demonstrative pronoun to use with "person" and "people".

Here's the general rule:

A _person_ uses _his or her_ mind to solve a problem.

_People_ use _their_ minds to solve problems.

Being the Grammar Freak I am, this bugs me.

Speaking of pronouns….

MAKE SURE YOU CLEARLY IDENTIFY WHAT PERSON/OBJECT THE PRONOUN GOES WITH.

I can't say how many times I have read a dialogue where I can't even tell who is talking because they keep using "she" and "he" said…with more than two people. When there are multiple "he's" and "she's", how can I know who is talking anymore? Names are longer to type, but **use them**_**.**_It makes reading a story _so much simpler_. I can follow the plot if I can figure out who is speaking.

Even outside the context of dialogue, if you haven't typed the name in a while, that's a good sign that you should probably stick it in there, just to keep us on track.

Now, TO THE PUNCTUATION.

I'll start with dialogue.

"Hi, my name is Charlie," he said.

_That is an example of a correct use of quotation marks._ Note the comma before the end quotation marks, the comma after "Hi", and the **period at the end of the sentence** are also examples good punctuation.

"Hi my name is Charlie he said".

NOOOO.

It looks ridiculous, but guys, _I've read stories with punctuation like that_. Not only do incorrect punctuation marks look wrong, they often make a sentence change meaning. For example, the above sentence makes it sound like Charlie was saying a boy said something to him, but was then cut off.

On this note….commas.

COMMAS SAVE LIVES.

For example:

Let's eat Grandma.

OR

Let's eat, Grandma.

COMMAS ARE YOUR FRIENDS. Don't be afraid to use them!

When addressing someone, such as "Grandma", use a comma.

When using expressions such as "Hi", "Yes/No," "Wow/Uh/Huh/Hmm", or transition words like "Then/After/Before/However/Also" in the _**beginning **_of a sentence, insert a comma after the word. If using them at the _**end**_ of a sentence, stick a comma before them.

When listing items in a series, separate the items with commas.

When connecting two related but _**independent**_ and _**complete**_ sentences, insert a comma and _then _a conjunction, like "and/but/or/nor/so" and others.

**DO NOT USE COMMAS AS PERIODS. THEY DO NOT WORK THAT WAY; RUN ON SENTENCES ARE THE WORST TECHNICAL WRITING ERROR YOU CAN MAKE, IN MY OPINION.**

If I read a sentence that never ends….I get bored…and annoyed…and disinterested in your story because my Grammar Freak instincts start screaming at you.

I KNOW FOR MANY OF YOU NUGGETS THAT THIS IS OLD NEWS, AND I KNOW THERE ARE EXCEPTIONS TO THESE RULES SOMETIMES.

But, come on, if you can't write in proper English, how do you expect readers to take your story seriously?

Also, save the broken sentences and fragments for First Person Point of View. I don't think to myself in complete, grammatically-correct sentences, and characters probably do not either. However, in Third Person Point of View, keep the sentences clean and complete.

When consistent errors occur, I can't read your story, no matter how fantastic the content is. You don't see mistakes like that in real life writing (and if you do, their editor/publisher sucks royal hippogriff), and I'm only interested in reading stories that take writing seriously in _all_ aspects – from characters, to plot, to writing style, to grammar and mechanics. So, that's my advice to young writers: _fix the grammar_ and _fix the punctuation,_ and I'll actually get to reading the story you spent hours typing and creating for the Maximum Ride fan community.

I'm not saying you can't get creative with punctuation – I love unique sentence structures, interesting introductory and transitional phrases, and all that jazz. However, still follow standard and simple primary school grammar rules, and you'll be fine.

ANGRY WORDS COMPLETE….for now.

I can assure you that I have probably made some grammatical or punctuation errors in typing this, and I embrace the fact that I am no perfect writer. I do not know everything – not even _close_. So, before you hang me with Christmas lights in a dusty closet, _this is supposed to be beneficial_, not extremely pompous and self-promoting…though I'm sure many of you disagree.

(I get a bit mean when I rant.)

I can almost see you readers readying your flamethrowers now.

(This should be fun.)

I've got more to rant about, though – now that we got through the appearance, I'm going to dive into what's under the surface: characters and plot.

(My next rant: Fang the Player: Why It Is Not Okay.)

So, rock on, Fanfic writers!

Now that you all hate me.

Sincerely,

~Dancing On My Toes~


	2. Fang the Player: Why It Is Not Okay

Okay, here's a situation that bedazzles me.

(Yes, it actually pierces my brain with rhinestones – it is _that_ strange.)

You know what I do not understand?

Fang being portrayed as a player.

I mean, WHY?

(Don't answer that. That is a rhetorical question.)

I do not know what books _some_ of you read, but in what universe did James Patterson ever make Fang seem like a player? The boy barely has social skills. Yeah, there is the Lissa thing (which totally gets distorted, as well), but what did you expect Fang to do – he's a science experiment fugitive who has never had anything like _that_ happen to him; do you expect his young, inexperienced hormones to _not_ capitalize on that opportunity?

Back to the subject at hand.

If there is a Maximum Ride FanFiction about high school AND romance, there is a 75% chance or higher that Fang is a player – a popular jerk who objectifies woman.

Again – where are people drawing this conclusion from?

In the series, Fang is opinionated, emotionally reclusive, a listener more than a talker (and hence, quiet), and bone-headedly stubborn, but he is extremely loving and protective of those he cares about.

In my description, is there anywhere that says Fang is a horny teenager whose only goal in life is to get in as many women's pants as possible?

**NO**.

Not only is a portrayal of Fang as a player extremely unrealistic, it is the most overused character guise in the history of Maximum Ride FanFiction. I get it – we all are romance fanatics at heart. I enjoy a good Fax, too…but come on – be realistic! Be original! I always picture Max and Fang's relationship as one that is best friends overall but has a deeper, more intimate relationship underneath that develops from _knowing _each other more than _looking __**hot**_.

(That's another annoyance – where in the books did it ever say they were hot? I mean, I like fantasies about a hot, winged boy, but…he isn't some fiery sex god that makes women crumple with the flip of his overlong hair. He's nice to look at. That's all. Save your hormone-induced fantasies for your favorite actors/actresses or something.)

I understand that Romance stories are extremely difficult to write realistically. There are only so many plot lines you can use if romance is your primary conflict.

1. They fight. They make-up.

2. They hate each other. They love each other.

3. They are separated by distance or people. They reunite passionately.

….that's pretty much every romance plotline I've ever read on here.

But what I'd like to read: Two people slowly become friends (where they _DO NOT_ hate each other – they can annoy each other, but it's just teasing, and they know it) and then start to realize they like each after forming a strong bond.

_GASP_.

What am I suggesting? A realistic, not dramatic romance? Blasphemy! How dare I!

Psh.

If someone produces this, I will bow down and thank you with eternal virtual kisses on your virtual feet.

(Note: the story "Letters" by ivyflightislistening, I believe, is a fantastic example of this).

Not every story needs a dramatic, action-y conflict. Sometimes conflicts can be…_internal_. Like, discovering themselves and their emotions. Ta da!

The best advice I can give you is that you should make romance your_ secondary_ conflict. As in, they are fighting an evil corporation or trying to survive the struggles of high school, sport tryouts, overprotective mothers, and homework as the main conflict, but as they fight together, romance happens.

Oh, no, what will FanFic writers do now? I've destroyed their entire basis for a high school Fax novel! Waaaaaah!

Sob into your pillows, that's what.

Whoa, I got off topic.

Anyway, I know making Fang a player is an easy way to have a romantic conflict. Max learns that Fang is deeply a great person under his douche-y guise, they kiss, he changes his ways, ta da (or Max decides being objectified with three other women is awesome, and becomes a prostitute. Though no one ever chooses that route…). But please, for the sake of my and every other readers' sanity, _do not fall into the cliché trap!_

The best FanFictions are the ones that keep the Maximum Ride characters the same personality wise; after all, with writers transporting the characters to different scenarios, like becoming ice-skaters or going to high school without any wings or powers, their personalities are the only substances that can remain a constant.

You can float as far out to sea as you want, figuratively, as a FanFic writer – just keep a rope tied to the shore so you can find your way home.

Without their personalities, it doesn't matter if they look the same or go through the same motions – you are no longer writing about Maximum Ride, and as a Maximum Ride fan, I don't want to read a story that isn't about the characters I love and adore.

So, please – keep it realistic! Don't overstretch their personalities!

Don't make Fang a player (because I don't even know what part of his personality you are stretching here, anyway).

Don't make Max an obnoxious bitch (she's stubborn and a leader, not a drama queen).

Don't make Iggy an obnoxious perve (he's a blind, hormone-induced kid – he can't even see it, anyway, so chillax on the womanizing).

Don't make Nudge a rabble monster (she talks a lot, yes, but not every time she opens her mouth. And USE PUNCTUATION, EVEN DURING HER LONG PARAGRAPHS!)

(People don't seem to botch Gazzy and Angel up too much. And Total and Akila don't really get mentioned. So you're okay there, FanFiction-ers.)

Don't make Ella a shopping-obsessed tween-dweeb (she's got minimal mention in the series, so I see how her character is up to interpretation, but JP never mentioned anything about her having a clothing obsession).

To summarize:

REASONS WHY FANG SHOULD NOT BE A PLAYER:

1. Unoriginal (unfortunately – how did FanFiction come to this?)

2. Completely unrelated to the books.

3. Completely unrealistic to his personality in the books.

4. It's not a good romance plotline because the characters just ANNOY me after two seconds AND it's overused.

Thanks for reading.

(Next chapter: Formatting: Why It Helps Me Read Your Story.)

Rock on.

Sincerely,

~Dancing On My Toes~


	3. Formatting: Why It Helps Me Read Stories

Before I begin, I'm going to note one thing:

I got my first counterpoint! Woooooo!

No, I'm serious about this. I'm actually _excited_ to get a counter-argument (note I'm not calling it a flame, because a flame is just trash talk. This reviewer was justifying her opinion).

I'm sorry if this embarrasses you, kittychow, but I respond to reviews (and if I do not reply to someone's, it is probably because it never reached my inbox and I never saw it), so for today's feature film:

_Vilite246: _

I'm happy to see that you agree! Your list was very accurate.

_Kittychow: _

For your argument, I will concede that it has merit. People do write Fang as a player because they want to be different and original.

But I direct you to the title of this guide.

I admit I'm being very _opinionated_; hence, everything I say is not going to be swallowed like liquid gold. This guide is a metaphorical flamethrower (or napalm, if you prefer) that I'm shooting in people's faces. I'm rude. I'm obnoxious. And I love it right now.

Thank you for explaining what AU means, though – I've been wondering about that for a while. Acronyms are not my forte!

I will note that a majority of FanFictions are AU, even if they don't note it (I certainly didn't in my first story, though it totally was). I still stand by my statement: I believe that the best stories are ones that can exist in an AU while still capturing the persona of the characters. To _me_, when the characters become stretched into unrecognizable forms, I could change the names of the characters and never know it was a Maximum Ride FanFiction. But I say again that this is what _I_ believe, and I only type on _my_ behalf. I am very positive that you could write your own story guide and find tons of readers who agree with you – probably more than those who agree with me. I agree that writers' have a freedom to float as far out as they wish – but to write under Maximum Ride, I just think it needs to feel like Maximum Ride.

So, people can go ahead and do strange pair-ups in relationships, make Fang a ballerina, whatever. In fact, make Fang a player (…but I'd prefer you did not)! Just don't make him a jerk – it's not his personality, and his personality is a big part of why I enjoy the series.

So for the same reason you dislike Max as a whiny girl who only cares about looks, I dislike Fang as a player. Thanks for sharing your opinion, and I'll keep sharing mine.

And I _will_ go re-read the books! I enjoy them.

I would have titled this guide with a "How to Write Stories I Really Enjoy Reading Though Others May Not" clause, but there is a character limit in titles, apparently.

Note I did used to like player stories. But they got old, and they got old _quickly_. And as I started writing and delving into my character interpretations, I discovered that the guise bothered me.

People like player Fang. People also dislike player Fang. To each their own.

Rock on.

Sincerely,

~Dancing On My Toes~

But anyway. Back to the main point of this chapter.

**Formatting, Formatting, FORMATTING – Why it makes reading your story easier.**

Okay, I'm not the only one who notices this, and it's not really an atrocious error of any kind. This chapter is not so much of a rant as a guide, because I think a lot of FanFic writers just _do not_ know about FanFictions appear on the Inter-Webs.

First things first – spacing.

This is the one thing that is not totally conventional in English mechanics and what-not. We are told to keep our similar thoughts all together in a paragraph, and we should only start a new section if the topic changes or another character starts speaking.

However, as I am doing right now, FanFiction requires spacing out your sentences _very _frequently.

FanFiction formats paragraphs to be single-spaced. Unless you purposely double space your paragraphs, they just appear as a giant mush of words and commas.

The solution: we separate our thoughts, writing only a sentence or two before double spacing and continuing a thought. I think it works alright on here because a lot of us write in first person, and thoughts are often disjointed and spaced out.

The reason why we do so (let's see if I can duplicate this madness):

If I keep typing silly nonsense, and I keep rambling, then this just turns into a giant paragraph that starts to bore you as you read it. Simply said, less is more. The longer I talk about how vibrantly blue the walls of the house are, and how spacious the kitchen appears to be, and how my black shirt matches my jeans because black matches anything, the more cross-eyed you become. But I need to keep talking, so… I'm in a room with a maple wood desk. Chipped, fluorescent lights hang above me, glaring bluntly and filling the room with almost prison-white light. The floors are tile, and the air blowing from the vent is loud and cold, no matter what the temperature gauge is set at. There is a black and blue bedspread, intricately designed with swirls and curves of the grey variety. I'm just rambling at this point. If you are still reading this paragraph, then I am extremely impressed. I don't know how people keep typing and typing in these long paragraphs; I'm running out of ideas to talk about. Did you know Pluto is not a planet except in Illinois, USA? Yep, Pluto day is March 13. People are everywhere. I wonder how many of them are stalkers? Are stalkers stalked? Bacon is the ultimate stalker terminator, next to Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch. _He_ decides what time it is. There is so much I could say, but this is getting so long. However, this isn't long enough to demonstrate my point yet. Ugh, I'm getting lost in thought. Unicorn. Spain. Hotdog. If you actually are still reading this, I am beyond impressed and hereby award you with a medal of Awesome. If you have just received a medal of Awesome, you should leave a review mentioning your awesomeness, so I know. Angry bunnies rule the world. La chica esta miedo de gatos gordos. Flying spaghetti monsters rule our souls. English or French? Ahhhh! Blackholes are where God divided by zero. What do you call a King's fart? A noble gas. Two atoms are walking down the street. One stops and says, "Hold on! I think I lost an electron!" The other replies, "Are you sure?" The former continues, "Yes – I'm positive!" So many bad nerd jokes. Bananas, kittens, chocolate Olympians. Average joes and rambles ruin this paragraph. Chickens.

See? Incredibly condensed and mind-blowling. I'm sure at one point, you missed a line or re-read a line accidently, getting lost in the mass amount of sentences.

Whew. That was exhausting.

Point made, space out thoughts.

Second recommendation: Try to keep sentences simple and short.

Long sentences are fine from time to time. Just keep them distant from other long, complex thoughts. Reading deep, lengthy lines repeatedly in a row is just difficult to process, and it often leads to the smushed paragraph format above.

Third help tip:

People don't know how to make the line appear in their FanFictions. You know the line – the solid black wire that separates time changes or flashbacks or points of views. Here's how you do it.

When you load your word document or whatever onto FanFiction, go to the edit mode in the document manager page. When your document loads, there is an icon on the top with the bold and whatnot. It looks like a line. That button will insert a black line at wherever your cursor is. It is that easy.

Of course, random stars with comments like, "The black line of tango" and so forth are just as useful and entertaining, if you prefer.

Note: sometimes FanFiction, for some reason, will undo some formats, like hypens, stars, and so forth. So be careful, and re-read the chapter on the FanFic site before you post it.

The recap:

out paragraphs. Don't double space within a paragraph; just keep segments 2-3 lines max, unless absolutely necessary. Don't be afraid to break apart similar sentences.

2. Keep your thoughts short and concise. Separate longer sentences with shorter ones, if necessary.

3. Know how to insert the line, and know to use it when doing time lapses/flashbacks/changing POVs (and for POV, also say whose now speaking in italics or bold or just words above the new segment).

That's a wrap! Next chapter is… I don't know. I'll let you guys give suggestions. I kind of want to have a discussion on the last Maximum Ride book, Nevermore, but that would be a spoiler situation. So, if anyone feels like sharing their likes/dislikes, PM or request for me to type a chapter on it. I would warn about spoilers before beginning the segment, to warn those who haven't read it yet.

Rock on, readers.

Sincerely,

~Dancing On My Toes~


	4. Intros: Make the Best Ones You Can

To begin: responses to those reviewers who did not log in:

Guest: Thanks. I try my hardest to be an ass. Call it a gift from the donkey gods. But thanks for reviewing; I appreciate the feedback.

Silvermoon: That was extremely nice of you. I don't know how many guts I have, considering I'm typing behind a screen, but I appreciate it anyway. I'm sorry your friend has an arsenal of virtual rocks with my name on them, but I've come prepared with my virtual force field. :D

Kittychow: Glad you agree. Thanks for the review.

vilite246: Congrats on your Medal of Awesome, and the review.

Now, onto the chapter!

Today's segment:

**Intros: Make the Best Ones You Can.**

What I am referring to above is the small summaries that you write up to describe your story in a couple sentences – the ones that appear in the Maximum Ride FanFiction list.

Here's the problem(s):

Writers can often give away too much information in the summaries.

When I can read the whole story's plot by reading two sentences, why do I want to read the rest of the FanFiction?

For example, if you were writing a romance FanFic, don't write this:

Max is the new girl in school. She's always locked herself out to others – until her neighbor Fang comes along. Read as Fang unlocks Max and becomes the one person she can depend on.

….okay, that's not super terrible, but it's pretty dull.

Know why?

I already know that Fang gets the girl. There's no mystery, no suspense, no wonder. The only reason I'd read it at this point is if I'm just in a Fax mood.

So, strategy number one for writing summaries:

1. Never give away the ending.

Continuing on, now – number two:

2. No matter how uncertain you are in your writing abilities, _never admit in a summary that the blurb is terrible._

There's a couple of reasons why this is a total repellant to readers.

Firstly, if you think you are so terrible at writing blurbs, the reader tends to believe you. If you can't write blurbs, can you write stories? That doubt is created, and it eats at readers until they just don't click the link and read your story. Be confident. Don't hedge. Even if your blurb is uglier than a dead squirrel-ant hybrid, don't admit to it! Let the reader decide if your writing is to their standards or not.

Additionally, while you are admitting to your poor summary skills, you are wasting precious space that could be used to further entice me. Instead of writing a sentence about how your blurb is terrible, tell me more about the story – present the conflict, for example, either in a third person statement of a first person quotation of sorts, or give a witty remark that makes the reader want to read so they can either have more humor or discover the context of the statement. If you honestly cannot think of anything else to say, just leave the space – nothing is wrong with a short summary.

Strategy number three:

3. It doesn't matter if you are a first-time writer – _you don't need to admit to it, so don't._

This statement is usually a way to admit you are scared that your writing might stink like rotten cheese curds. By saying this, you are trying create an excuse if your writing is not satisfactory.

I'll hedge that first time writers make a lot errors, stereotypically, because they aren't used to the FanFiction format and usually haven't developed their style as well.

I've been there. I did that. I still do make errors, and my style is continuously developing.

_However_.

Again, keep confidence – don't give readers any reason to doubt you. Let them draw their own conclusions – if it bothers them, they'll either not review or give you feedback. You can grow from it. As a first time writer, a story is an experiment. Whether the conclusion is in your favor or against, at least you know how to fix it next time. Also, you may have some golden talent – don't let it be disregarded by giving readers a figurative question mark in the summary blurb.

My last bit of advice:

4. Consider the summary _not_ as a summary but rather a teaser.

Summaries sometimes give the connotation of having to reveal the basic plot elements, which leads writers to give out too much information. However, these blurbs should give just enough information to leave the reader wanting to see more.

There's an opposite side to this – don't be so vague that readers cannot tell what your story is about at all.

There are three things that need to be presented in a blurb, and the ratio of such can vary.

1. The main conflict

2. The main characters

3. The mood of the story

Here are some examples:

If you are writing a comedy about Iggy and Fang's prank war, make a blurb that is weird, witty, or hilarious (or a combination of any of them).

"If a normal person had just dyed Fang's wardrobe hot pink, they would wisely run for the hills and enter a witness protection program in order to stay alive. Then again, Iggy isn't normal, and neither was this prank war."

….Meh, I'm not super at this. But you get the idea? The blurb is mildly odd, which I'm sure a prank war story would be. We know it's about Fang and Iggy, and that pranks are involved, and will continue. However, we do not know the victor (if there is one) or what pranks will be occurring (beyond pink clothing). Plus, as a writer, you have wiggle room to do whatever the heck you want to connect the pranks into a plot.

(Take your time to make a good blurb, or you'll end up with summary as sucky as the one I just created.)

For my next example, I'm going to brag a bit and use my blurb for ShadowDiving.

"I would die for her. But I have to live for her, to protect her. Angel will never feel the blows that color my life. My name is Fang. And this is my story."

This is an example of a vaguer blurb that still works well.

You know the main characters are Fang and Angel. Check.

You know that the conflict involves protection, so there will probably be fights and dangerous situations for action. Check.

You know the mood is darker and more on-edge, because the words "blows", "die", and "protect" give off a feeling of suspense. Check.

When you are doing more action/suspense based stories, it is best to give off a more mysterious introduction, because it entices readers and makes them want to figure out the details. Humor can work similarly, but you need to be a bit more direct as to what the humor is.

For one-shots, usually the best blurbs are quotes taken right out of the chapter that hint at the theme. You don't even have to show the characters – the info below will tell a reader, and in a one-shot, it's pretty obvious who is in it, whereas longer stories don't always introduce all the characters in the first chapter.

Note there are exceptions to the above rules, because some people are better at crafting summaries (I am not one of those people – represent, summary-strugglers everywhere). However, this is a general basis to writing a good blurb.

So, a final bullet point:

5. A good intro gets readers to read your story.

You've got a few sentences to catch our interest. Use them to your advantage.

Keep giving me suggestions as to what you want me to cover.

Rock on.

Sincerely,

~Dancing On My Toes~


	5. The Introduction Chapter: Less Is More

Hola, readers!

Guess what time it is?

…(1:03 PM)

Oh, I think that means it's time for another chapter of the Entirely Biased Guide to Writing Good Stories!

But first, I'm going to reply to some non-logged in reviews!

_JJJackson:_

You're welcome. I'm glad you found the chapter somewhat useful.

_Guest:_

Thanks for the compliments, and for taking the time to write them in a review. As for the Medal of Awesome, it's just a virtual, non-tangible award that I cannot, per say, _give_ you, or something you can _collect_. It's a figurative gold medal for just being so amazing that you read that paragraph. If you need to prove to others that you have this award, I'll state it here and you can refer critics to this page:

GUEST IS A RECIPIENT OF THE MEDAL OF AWESOMENESS FOR HIS/HER ACCOMPLISHMENT OF READING MY RATHER LENGTHY AND POINTLESS PARAGRAPH.

Tada!

_WingedChick:_

So, yeah, you had a good suggestion. I'm actually going to cover it in this chapter. You may now proceed to scream EPIC WIN as loud as you want.

_Kittychow:_

Your suggestion is also a valid and interesting discussion point, and I think I will do a segment on it later. It bothers me, too, but there are a couple sides to that story, so I'll talk about it later. Thanks for the review!

* * *

Now, to the segment:

**The Introduction Chapter: Less Is More**

I'll start with what I consider the problem to be.

The author has this fantastic summary blurb. I'm jumping up and down in my seat. I rapidly click the link, helplessly excited to read this awesome story….

And it starts off rather dull and uninteresting, leaving me wondering "_Where is my awesome, supremely-unique story I thought I was going to read?"_

Why, Dancing - why is this so?

Because I've just suffered through a rather lengthy detailed description of _everything and anything involving Max/Fang/Iggy/whoever's life_.

I get it, really. I get why authors do this. As readers, we like to have a picture of what everyone is and where they are and such. In real books, they constantly give profiles and room descriptions (ex: Hogwarts). In fact, James Patterson, for about five or six books in the Maximum Ride series, kept giving us a reminder description "in case we were just joining in" (this annoyed me by books four and five – I mean, who is going to pick up MAX, which is labeled as book five, and think to themselves, "Hm, I wonder what _Maximum Ride_ is?...I think I'll start by reading five books into the series!).

However.

(My famous _however_)

It is extremely simple to screw up an introduction by being _over-descriptive_.

You know what I'm talking about.

"_I'm riding my bicycle, the cool autumn breeze blowing my hair in a million directions. The fresh scent of pine needles and wet grass is relaxing as I try to erase the events of my mundane day. _

_However, life can never let me be happy for long._

_I cross the street at the intersection of Jefferson St. and Fort Wayne Ave. I have the right of way – the green light is telling me I can go, go, go._

_Somehow, that Greyhound bus just didn't get the message that red equals _stop_._

_The equation: Max (on bike) plus Greyhound bus (much heavier and faster than Max) equals _terrible things, Harry – terrible things.

_There is no place to divert to, no time to clamber off the bike and run like Hell. I'm frozen in the moment, the daylight running lights flashing in my eyes as the loud honks of the bus fill my ears._

_But before I get too carried away, I should introduce myself. I'm Max. I'm 16, 5'4'', with brown-blonde hair that falls in perfect waves around my face. I'm not as attractive as everyone else I know, though. _

(AN: since when is Max the type of girl who would think her hair falls in "perfect waves"? I was always under the impression that she would judge her hair on a good/bad scale)

_I'm a total badass that doesn't get along with anyone except my twenty friends Sam, Iggy, Nudge, Lissa, Bridget, Gazzy, Angel, Fang, Dylan, Tess, JJ, Total, Erik, Ella, Samantha, Tyrone, Jessica, Claire, Yohan, and Abby. They are all badasses, like me, otherwise I wouldn't be friends with them. Except they are all different. Sam is the cute but popular cross-country runner with sandy hair and nice blue eyes. He's sorta built, but not overly. Then there is Iggy, the blind pyromaniac with bleach blonde hair, cloudy blue eyes, and a paleness not even matched by the Cullen vampires. He's trouble, and he's super annoying, but he gets me like no other and I can't stay mad at him for long…._

(excuse me while I skip the rest of the 18 other friends descriptions that normally follow)

_My mom is the best cook in the world, and she makes these chocolate chip cookies that are to _die_ for! She's Hispanic, and nothing like me, unfortunately. My dad left me when I was 9 – he's a douchebag scientist who thinks he can do whatever he wants and still have me love him. Guess what: I don't. I want to beat him physically every time his caterpillar mustache walks in. Unfortunately, I take after him, looks-wise. _

_Oh, did I forget to mention that I play soccer, volleyball, and basketball, and I run track and am captain of my swim team? Yeah, just some information there. I'm a junior in Plains Valley high school, a grey detention style building with five corridors and 32 classrooms: Home Ec, Art, Chemistry, Physics, English, U.S. History, Ancient World History, Cultural History, Psychology, Sociology, Drama, Choir, Band….just to name a few. All the teachers there are bland, bland, bland, and they don't give a crap about anyone but they high school football stars. However, I'm best friends with my school principle, who never gives me a punishment because he knows all my attention-seeking bad behavior isn't doing any harm in the present or my future methods of dealing with crises and new people. _

_Right now, it's ten twenty-two AM on a Saturday. I'm in my room, which is purple and black with swirls on it. My bedspread is grey with purple polka dots. I have a white lampstand in the right corner of the room with a Japanese blue paper lantern on it. I have a mirror on the opposite wall as my bed, with a black, three drawer dresser, and in the right corner of the room is a walk in closet with all my graphic T's, ripped jeans, converse sneakers and combat boots, and one lonely dress Ella desperately tried to make me wear on multiple occasions. Down the hall from my room is the kitchen…._

(excuse me while I skip all the house descriptions)

_So yeah. I'm just a simple girl in a fucked up world, and everyone hates me. I'll just kick their asses, so it's all good. Back to where I started, though – almost being hit by a bus."_

…..*sigh*

That took forever to type.

While mine might have been a little over-the-top, you have to admit that I am right on the principle.

In introductions, less is more.

Sure, I want some info on the characters….but not _that much_.

I've even seen _three-line_ descriptions that are just so unnecessary.

I mean, congrats on actually remembering to give us some context. It's a good habit. But you need to fine tune this beast of an introduction into something more exciting.

Literary classics may get away with having crappy introductions, but as a FanFiction writer, you are typing to a young, easily distracted audience that needs to be captivated and/or motivated to read your work from the get-go. Get to it!

My solution:

One: Make introductions on an appearance-by-appearance basis. What I mean is that unless Iggy has entered the scene, you don't need to give me an appearance/life hobbies description on the man unless absolutely crucial. When a description is side-by-side with an appearance, it is easier for a reader to relate the characteristics to the character, instead of drowning in a sea of twenty different personalities and looks and then later trying to remember which one was which.

Two: Giving room descriptions is OK. However, like above, use it only sparingly (usually when entering a room). This one can be extended a bit, but don't go into too much detail; I'm more interested in the characters and what they are doing, because they are the primary aspects of stories, usually. Unless you create stories like Lord of the Flies or write Edgar Allen Poe style, where the settings are representative/influential on the characters, you don't need to tell me more than a few sentences about their environment. Examples of a necessary description: entering a new place, on the run and featuring the characteristics of their hideout that are beneficial/harmful to the characters, or if objects in the room are going to be a part of the scene. That's a generic, vague idea of when room profiles are a good idea. In any other case, you should just say, "I'm in a school room," and let the reader imagine it for themselves.

Three: Make the descriptions as short or spread out as possible. The less I have to read about fine points and the more plot I can read, the faster I'll be absorbed in a FanFiction. If you are creating a story with multiple characters/settings, spread out introductions over several chapters, having the main character(s) interact with the other people on a one-on-one or small group setting so that readers can slowly meet and understand each character. It's like socializing at a party: if you talk to everyone for 10 seconds, you'll barely recall any names. However, if you only meet 10 people but talk to them for 10 minutes each, you'll remember most of the names AND anything else they told you, whether about family or interests or whatever.

Four: This is not so much related to descriptions as to the introduction chapter itself. While the chapter itself doesn't have to be ACTION ACTION ACTION right off the bat, don't end a chapter with something like, "And then I walked home from school." Unfortunately, unless you post the next, super exciting chapter right away, no one wants to keep reading. There's no suspense – there is no curiosity. If you don't introduce the conflict in the introduction, I don't really get the point of the story. You don't even have to state it explicitly; just hint at what the problem is/will be. Also, _cliffhangers are your friend_.

(That's another thing – maybe I should cover cliffhangers. Some of you are not all that good at ending your chapters. But that's not really a huge issue.)

To summarize:

1. Keep it short and simple.

2. Don't say unnecessary information.

3. Slowly introduce the various people/places/aspects of your story.

4. Address rooms only as necessary.

5. Present the conflict.

6. Leave me wanting more.

7. Make an interesting statement/voice right off the bat (I didn't really explain that one, but everyone has their own way to accomplish this. Be unique! Have your characters perceive in an interesting fashion).

So, yeah. That's the introduction chapter guide.

As always, shout out if you have any mind-blowing ideas I should talk about.

Rock on.

Sincerely,

~Dancing On My Toes~


	6. POVs: How They Become Black Holes

I usually am a bit more personal in my responses, but for time's sake, here's to the non-logged-in reviewers:

Kittychow, vilite246 – thanks for the input, and the reviews! It's nice for the feedback and fresh perspectives.

* * *

Alrighty, onto the topic of this chapter's rant:

**POVs: How They Become Black Holes**

Here, I'm not referring to any particular person's POV, or first-person vs third person omniscient or whatever.

No.

I'm referring to _alternating_ _POVs_.

(By the way – POV is _point of view_).

Now, I'm a fan of a story keeping one consistent POV. To me, it keeps a bit of suspense, especially in first person, because you figure out the other characters and the world around them as your main lead does. No excess of dramatic irony. Say, for example, "Diary of a Lovesick Mutant" by Phoenix Fanatic.

On the contrary, I've read many a FanFiction where alternating POVs made the story really interesting. Say, for example, "Letters" by ivyflightislistening. Alternate POVs are sometimes necessary – and wise – because they reveal some crucial information that the reader otherwise couldn't have gained, such as another character's inner conflictions/thought process or an evil overlord's hidden agenda, etc.

However.

(The famous "however".)

Don't write alternative POVs just for the sake of POVs.

They should have a _purpose_.

In general, there should be one or more of the following accomplished by writing a section/chapter in another character's POV:

1. Revealed previously unknown _and _necessary information

2. Further progressed the plot

3. Shed some important insight into another character's personality that is fundamental to the story's progression.

Here's the most common problem I see.

The previous chapter looks like this (in a few lines):

* * *

_MPOV_

_I walk into lunch. Fang sits down next to me. I think he's so dreamy. Yum._

"_Hey," he says, looking bored._

"_Hey," I reply back, trying to replicate his tone._

_Fang is staring at me. It's weird._

_I leave._

* * *

The next chapter:

* * *

_FPOV_

_I walk into lunch and sit down next to Max. She's looking at me with a dreamy look. She's so yummy._

"_Hey," I say, trying to sound bored._

"_Hey," she replies back, seemingly bored also._

_I end up gazing into her eyes because they suck me in like black holes. She's so hot. I'm a creeper._

_Max looks weirded out, and she leaves._

* * *

End chapter.

What did I gain from reading that chapter?

No plot progression.

No necessary information.

The _only_ point you could argue is insight into character, but all I got was that Fang is a creeper. Which Max sorta already told us.

Now, if Fang had this POV where he didn't find Max hot and didn't think he was being creepy, but instead _studying _her because she was lost in thought, it'd be a _bit_ better.

All in all, don't switch POV just to recap a scene unless another character's POV of that scene was vitally different (AKA: he was somewhere else and saw some unforeseen action occur, he notices something about the other POV character's interaction that the other POV person couldn't have seen, etc).

The problem with the recap POV:

I end up feeling like I've read nothing worthwhile.

That's harsh, but it's the truth. I've read two chapters about an event I only needed to about in one chapter.

Another issue:

Usually, you guys who do this do it _every other chapter_, which really drags a plot down. Slowness is not always bad in terms of pacing, but let's compare it to living a day of school. If, to complete your day, you had to listen to every professor's lecture twice before you could move to the next hour/class, wouldn't the day just _drag on_?

That's how the reader feels.

Maybe once, it's ok. I really discourage the recap POV except when absolutely crucial (and fulfilling one of the three criteria to absolute completion), but I guess I'll hedge a little.

Multiple times: no way, Jose. I'm done.

My other rant is not so much on recapping POVs but doing multiple POVs in the same chapter.

My limit: two. Unless you are really willing to write substantial sections for three or more.

I'm sorry, all you multi-character stories, but if all the characters _really really_ need to have a POV section, split it up over chapters.

Usually, three or more POVs in the same chapter happen to recap, which, as I pointed out, is bad.

Also, spending only three sentence in someone else's POV (which is what usually happens) gives me really no information.

For example, if I told you to describe your interpretation of a day-long scenario in three sentences, how in-depth could you get? (assuming these sentences are of average length and not joined by long series or semicolons)

Yeah. Exactly.

My suggestion:

Stick to two, if you must. Because it is easier to write 1-2 (or more) pages on each character for a two-person POV split.

But unless you are willing to write a long chapter so that each POV is interesting and informational and necessary, don't stick them all together.

The _only_ exception:

If you are doing an introduction chapter, and all these multiple characters are in completely different locations, you are allowed to give a _briefer_ introduction to each all in the same chapter, because it would be pointless to give each six-sentence segment its own chapter.

But those introductions are not as common.

But yeah. That's my rant on POVs. I know people have their own opinions on this, but this is my view.

(Next segment: How to End Your Chapters)

Rock on.

Sincerely,

~Dancing On My Toes~


	7. How to End Your Chapters

Hola readers!

I've been very absent. I apologize for that. College is just a land mine of time consumption.

Anyway, to the chapter!

**How to End Your Chapters: Cliffies and More**

Okay, some of you need some advice on how to end your chapters.

You begin with this amazing chapter, we assume, about Max, and Fang, and whoever, interacting, discussing something interesting. Let's re-enter the scene where the author is ending:

_Ella looks at me, a questioning gaze on her face. I guess I was spacing out longer than I thought._

"_Are you okay, Max?" she asks quietly._

_I give her the most convincing facial expression I can. "Of course, El," I reply._

_I take a bite of my apple. _

End chapter.

…What? You ended the chapter in the middle of a scene? With a cliffhanger of eating an apple? The theoretical author didn't even bother to say "and then the bell rang, ending lunch" or "And that's when the roof caved in."

Note, I did make that bit up. However, this is an example of what I've read countless times.

_Please, END this madness_.

There are two main types of endings that will serve as a suitable and effective manner for completing your chapters.

1. Cliffhangers.

2. End the scene.

Let's start with the cliffhangers, shall we?

Cliffhangers – An ending to an episode that leaves the audience in suspense.

Basically, you are writing a scene – let's say it's about the Flock is flying through the sky – and you want the Flock to be interrupted with the sudden emergence of Erasers. You plan a battle to happen, but for length or time's sake, you want to wait to write the battle until next chapter. So, in order to end the chapter you are on now, you use a cliffhanger.

Example:

_Iggy snorts at Gazzy's humor, even though Gazzy has said that same joke _**ten times **_already._

"_Gazzy, that wasn't even funny the first time," I scold, rolling my eyes._

"_Come on, Max," Fang chides, smirking, "Where's your eight-year-old sense of humor?"_

"_Right up your –"_

_I stop mid-sentence as my eyes connect with a dark cloud up ahead._

"_I didn't think there were storms in the weather forecast," I drawl slowly, hoping that cloud is not what I think it is._

_Fang gives me a strange look. "No…no storms were foreshadowed."_

_My eyes widen as the dark cloud suddenly focuses into a large number of smaller, steadily approaching dark things._

"_Well, then, " I say in my best leader voice., "guys, it's time to get into battle position."_

_The Flock's faces turn from surprised to serious in two seconds. I experience a momentary flash of pride._

"_Erasers?" Angel asks, her fists curling into balls._

"_No, worse," Fang says, and I turn to see him squinting at the dark cloud intensely. "Flyboys."_

And…end chapter.

Admittedly, not my best cliffie, but it's a pretty decent example (and common – JP loves cliffhangers (hence the super short chapters) like I love Nutella.

And I love Nutella a lot.

Cliffhangers are terrific chapter endings when used:

1. right before a battle scene

2. when ending a scene mid-conversation (aka, the last line is some dramatic statement that floors the reader, like "Luke, I am your father.")

3. right before someone passes out (aka, the last line is the person going, "and then it all went black.")

There are others, but I won't sit here and list all the possibilities.

Where not to use cliffhangers:

1. In the middle of a battle (unless that character passes out)

2. In the middle of a conversation, when nothing life-altering has been said (aka, "I bit into my apple." It's not dramatic, interesting, or suspenseful).

3. In the middle of an action (as in, Max is walking down the hallway with Ella, chatting. She opens her locker, and you end the chapter)

Again, other alternatives exist, but I am not going to spend the time contemplating them all and scribing them to this guide.

Get the jist?

Cliffhangers only work _when they create suspense_. If you are trying to end the chapter in a cliffhanger, and the last line/action is not suspenseful, _it's not a cliffhanger_. It's just a bad ending.

An effective cliffie leaves me on the edge of my seat, demanding you to update as soon as possible.

An ineffective cliffie leaves me slightly disappointed and not antsy about an update. I'm not driven to follow the story.

Cliffhangers can make readers or break them. Use them successfully and wisely.

Now, onto the other chapter ending: Ending the scene.

_Gasp_. What? Actually finish the scene?

_Yes_.

If you can't cliffhanger it, I suggest you finish the scene.

For example:

_Fang and I sat on the swings, slowly swaying in a comfortable silence._

"_Fang?" I ask shyly. "You won't ever stop being my friend, will you?"_

_Fang stares at me, searching deep inside me for some answer. I look away, blushing profusely._

"_Max," Fang says, and I glance over to see his face so very, very open. "Max, I'll always be your friend. Forever."_

_I smile, and Fang reciprocates, lighting up my immediate vicinity._

_And there, swinging with Fang and watching the sun slowly descent, I realize I have never felt so happy._

End chapter.

Here, the scene could continue, but it serves also as an end of the scene.

Usually, when you end a scene, you have what I'll call a _conclusion sentence_. This line serves as a one-liner that somehow sums up the mood, sums up the activity that occurred in the chapter, or sums up a revelation or thought that the main character(s) had. It can also be a thought that leaves the reader something to think about, like an abstract concept or a change in mood that the character had previously failed to express.

Chapter endings can take a variety of formats for a variety of story types; let your creativity shine. Cliffhangers and ending a scene are only the two most common ways to end a story. If you can create a unique, effective ending, go for it.

I warn against only two points, in summary:

1. Don't use cliffhangers if they are not suspenseful.

2. Don't end a chapter in the middle of scene if you are not using a cliffhanger.

That's all, folks, for this chapter, and I'm sorry for my absence! (Engineering is a trap of projects and time-consuming work! Beware, incoming college kids!)

As always, if you have a topic you are just infuriated with, leave me a review! (Even if you have no inputs, a review is always nice)

Rock on.

Sincerely,

~Dancing On My Toes~


End file.
